Time Traveler

Notes from a Maryland Mom

2010-02-20T17:36:00.008-05:00

What I'm Writing:

OK, not so much writing, but revising, revising, revising...and now querying OUR FOUR MOTHERS, complete at 50,000 words!

And related to writing, I had an incredible time at the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) conference in New York City in January. I hoarded the good meds, prepared to use two Imitrex shots a day, but miraculously had a relatively low-migraine weekend. The speakers were inspiring, my roommate and new friend Mary Losure a treasure, and the free time tromping around Manhattan in the frigid weather a lot of fun. Mary and I hit the New York Public Library and a, thanks to a Target promotion, a free (vs $20) visit to the Modern Museum of Art on Friday night. I also had a great time at the inimitable Books of Wonder, which is dedicated to children's books, with many, many signed copies on the shelves. (One of these days I'll visit BoW and sign MY books!)

What I'm Reading:

Ooh, lots to report here! I bought a signed copy of Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games at Books of Wonder. Mary got hold of it before I did, and read the beginning in our hotel room Friday night. I read it after I got home, and immediately ordered the sequel, Catching Fire, and pre-ordered Mockinjay, due in August. All I can say is, "Whoa." Talk about your intense dystopic future! Katniss, the main character, is forced to take part in the annual "Hunger Games", in which two children from each of twelve districts remaining in the former US are forced to fight to the death in a man-made "wilderness" arena. Things get more complicated when she becomes attached to Peeta, the other contestant from her district, knowing that only one of them
can survive.

AND with Amy, my ten-year-old, at bedtime, Ellen Klages masterful The Green Glass Sea and its sequel White Sands, Red Menace. Dewey and Suze are the daughters of scientists building a "gadget" during WWII. The girls know it's some kind of weapon, which might be used to end the war. They don't know that their parents are working on the Manhattan Project, building the atomic bomb. These are GREAT books for girls and boys interested in science and math, or history. Amy was enthralled with the details of life in the 1940's. "No microwaves? No TV? How did they LIVE?"

AND, last but not least, I've just started the long-awaited companion volume to my all-time favorite grown-up books. Connie Willis' Blackout takes place in the same future world as To Say Nothing of the Dog and Doomsday Book. Mr. Dunworthy and Colin are back, as well as a new historian named Eileen who has traveled back to the 1940's to observe children evacuated from London. I'm not far enough in to know much, yet, but I'm planning on savoring every word!

What I'm Knitting:

I'm THIS CLOSE to being finished with the cube part of Doug's Fibonacci cube afghan (pictured at top.) I'm really happy with how it's coming out, and so is Doug! We've loved having him home on weekends, for over a month at Christmas, and for an extra week during the double blizzard of 2010. We've also enjoyed getting to know his roommate, Tommy.

Especially Carrie. :D

How I'm Feeling:

Yet again, Meh. I'm extremely thankful for the good weekend for SCBWI. Otherwise, status quo with migraines every day, lots of sleep, and a bad cold to top it off.

Notes from a Sci-Fi Mom

2009-12-28T23:09:00.022-05:00

What I'm Writing:

I got about 40,000 words written on my sci-fi Young Adult novel Our Four Mothers during NaNoWriMo, which I considered a great success given the as-usual level of my #&*$ migraines! This month I've added more scenes, revised considerably, and am almost ready for querying.

Here's a brief excerpt from the potential query. (I can't post the whole thing; it gives too much of the plot away!)

The domed village of New Plymouth, on the planet Zuriel, was colonized by a group of futuristic Puritans in search of their own utopia. Seven generations later, sixteen-year-old CADY has never known life outside this patriarchal theonomy, in which women are honored while having no rights. That is until the day she saves one of the indentured servants outside the dome from a vicious animal -- breaking the sanctity of the community by letting the young man in.

As Cady's idyllic life begins to unravel...she must transform not only her vision of the world, but her image of herself and her worth as a woman.
The Handmaid's Tale moves into The Village, and takes off for another planet in OUR FOUR MOTHERS...

I've had invaluable input from my critique group and the ladies at True Womanhood in the New Millenium, some of whom have experienced life in heavily patriarchal families and churches.

What I'm Reading:

I'm late to the Jasper Fforde game, but I'm loving The Eyre Affair, his time travel/literary detective novel in an alternate reality 1985 Britain. The front cover bills it as a mix of Monty Python, Harry Potter, Stephen Hawking, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- but I believe they forgot the queen of time travel and literary allusion, Connie Willis!

I'm also reading Quiverfull: Inside

the Christian Patriarchy Movement, Kathryn Joyce's illuminating investigation of uber-conservative evangelicals who believe that a woman's place is in the home -- PERIOD. College is a no-go for daughters, who should remain at home under their father's authority and "protection" until they are passed directly to their husband's authority at marriage. (A husband, by the way, who was at least heavily vetted, if not chosen directly, by the father.) Patriarchy is alive and well in the American church.

What I'm Knitting:

Yes, I'm still working on Doug's Fibonacci cube afghan. He didn't get it in time for high school graduation or to move in to his college dorm, and he didn't get it for Christmas. Easter, maybe? A prize for finishing the first year of college? What can I say, it's BIG! And I've been busy writing, and migraining!

I did, however, take the time to knit him his very own Jayne hat, including a facsimile of the note Ma Cobb sent to her "little boy". Here's a clip of Jayne Cobb receiving his present in Firefly:

And of course a pic of my "little boy" wearing his.

And speaking of Doug, he was day-dreaming one day about a steampunk Christmas tree in his dorm room, so we gathered a group of willing friends and relations and made his dream come true! I ordered lots of clock and watch parts from e-bay, scoured craft stores for appropriate miscellany, and had ourselves a steampunk ornament party! He came away with some really shiny ornaments, as you can plainly see. :D

How I'm Feeling:

Still pretty much the same, unfortunately. I used my periodic "rainy day" dosepack of steroids at Thanksgiving, since that was when the majority of relatives were going to be visiting. I can usually get at least a few good days out of them. This meant I was on my own for Christmas, and ended up missing out on a lot of the festivities with the usual horrid migraines. My pain doc shot some steroids into my forehead on the 18th and told me I'd probably get a couple of weeks of relief out of them, but I got a grand total of a day and a half. I still sleep two or three days a week, have a pretty good day once or twice a week, and muddle through the rest of the time with usually at least a couple of productive hours a day for writing. I'm extremely thankful for my wonderful daughter Carrie, who has been doing most of the grocery shopping and cooking. I truly don't know what I'd do without her, or David who has pretty much taken over the laundry.

In Other News:

Doug and Carrie both made it through their first semesters of college, and now have the month of January to kick back and ... work. Doug is home for the month, and is hoping to do a lot of fill-in work lifeguarding at indoor pools. AFTER he finishes recovering from getting his wisdom teeth out today.

Carrie is astounding, as usual. She's had some significant health problems of her own the last few months, but still managed to pull a 3.5 as a 16yo college freshman. She's been working at TCBY, and is skilled at both swirling AND scooping frozen yoghurt.

Amy has been in planning mode the last few weeks. She has completely planned her wedding, down to drawings of the dress and the cake. She has designed her baby's nursery, making detailed lists of the exact products she's going to need and how much they'll cost. And she's determined her children's names, her future career (middle school counselor), and begun designing her house, including an apartment for David and me. Yes, she is totally ready for adulthood ... at ten.

Both girls sang in the Peabody Children's Chorus winter concert...Amy's first, and, sadly, Carrie's last.

October Musings

2009-10-23T09:22:00.015-04:00

What I'm Writing:

Rescued in Time (middle grade time travel to 1902 Ocean City, Maryland)

I've drawn the line on research for Rescued in Time, and am deep in writing mode. I'm about halfway done with the text.

It's funny how books decide to turn in their own directions. I had expected this to be a fairly light-hearted time travel book (hey, 1902 was a pretty idyllic "Main Street USA" time in history!) but as I got deeper into the research I learned that Jim Crow laws were alive and, unfortunately, quite well on Maryland's Eastern Shore. In fact, African Americans weren't allowed on Ocean City's boardwalk or beach (except for a few days a year) until well into the 20th century. So I've ended up with some deeper themes in this book, and I'm walking the tightrope of being entertaining and educational without preaching or getting too heavy.

Our Four Mothers (YA sci-fi)

In the meantime, while doing the research for Rescued in Time I came up against the Female Suffragists, who were busily campaigning for the vote in 1902. This gave me an idea: why not write a sci-fi reimagining of the lives of Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony? I haven't even started writing this one (tentatively titled Our Four Mothers) yet, but I've done a lot of research and already it's turning its own direction: away from biography and toward dystopia.

The premise will be something along the lines of, "What if a group of patriarchal theonomists creates a separatist colony on another planet, and cuts off all 'evil influence' from earth?" Women will be honored and generally well treated, but will have no voting rights and will be expected to be submissive in everything. Old Testament law will rule, and executions for offenses such as homosexuality, while rare, will occasionally happen. It will be sort of a futuristic Puritan Massachusetts Bay Colony, but without the influence of other groups of immigrants. (And no, it’s not The Handmaid’s Tale Redux.)

My main character, Cady, will be a teenage girl living many generations after the colony's creation. Her parents will have arranged her betrothal to Riley, a close friend from childhood. She'll become aware that he's gay. She'll also become aware somehow (perhaps through diaries she's found from a first-generation woman) that women on earth have more freedom and options than she's ever thought possible. Now she and Riley must decide: hide what they believe/feel and continue living the way they've always known; begin an underground rebellion/suffragist movement (risking severe consequences); or run.

I'm thinking of putting Rescued in Time on hold for the month of November so that I can take advantage of the energy and resources of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) to get a good start on Our Four Mothers.

Mirror of Souls (YA time travel to alternate-reality 1526 France)

Mirror of Souls is on the back burner until I find out the fate of Spinning Coins (time travel to alternate-reality 1526 Denmark).

What I'm Reading:

The Human Experiment: Two Years and Twenty Minutes Inside Biosphere 2 is Jane Poynter's fascinating account of the creation of the hermetically sealed 3-acre "greenhouse" in Arizona, and her two years locked inside with seven other Biospherians. I'm reading this as research for Our Four Mothers, which will take place on a planet not previously habitable by humans. Next on the reading list: Beekeeping for Dummies (because they'll have to pollinate their plants somehow!) Previously on the reading list: The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood's horrifying vision of a theocratic patriarchal society in America's near future. I've also been doing a lot of research about Christian Reconstructionism and Federal Vision theology, as I envision the society in Our Four Mothers to be based on a combination of the ideals of those two movements.

What I'm knitting

I'm still working on Doug's Fibonacci Cube college afghan, slowly but surely. He didn't get it in time to move in to the dorms (not that he needed a wool afghan in an un-airconditioned dorm room in August!), but I'm hoping to get it done in time for Christmas.

In addition to the "cube," which I work on at home, I've finished knitting squares of the individual letters that make up the word "MARYLAND," which will be part of the border.

How I'm feeling

The Hopkins cardiologist I spoke to about PFO (small hole in the heart) closure wasn't impressed by previous studies that had been done about the relationship between PFOs and migraines, and didn't recommend it in my case although he said he would do it if I insisted.

So I applied for the PREMIUM PFO trial, in which I would have had a 50/50 chance of having my PFO closed. I had hoped to be included not only for the chance at closure but also so that I could contribute to the scientific knowledge about the relation between PFOs and migraines. Unfortunately, I was rejected from the study because I have -- get this -- too many migraines.

I've decided to go ahead and pursue the closure at Hopkins, and am currently waiting for a phone call from them about what will happen next. (ETA: He still says no, and my neurologist now agrees with him.)

In the meantime, Meh. Nothing's changed. I still have a migraine most days, although I do have a few "low migraine days" here and there. David has seriously stepped up to the plate, and is doing far more than his share around the house. And Carrie has her driver's license now, just in time for Doug to leave her his car. (He doesn't need it on campus.) She can drive herself to her community college classes, she drives Amy to her activities, and she does most of the grocery shopping. Amy is very independent, and gets herself up and ready in the mornings. (I do get up to spend a little time with her in the morning and make sure she gets on the bus, but usually end up back in bed for a while after that.)

I've been following David Buchholz' migraine diet, and have seen some results, especially from eliminating aspartame. I've also stopped taking pain meds (Imitrex and Excedrin Migraine) except when I need to do something outside the house and I'm feeling especially bad. We've had some nice (medicated!) days this fall, apple picking and hiking, and Amy has asked a few friends to go hiking with us for her 10th birthday party this weekend. Doug has been home most weekends. I'm so glad he chose to go to an in-state school!

2009-09-20T17:18:00.005-04:00

(Produced at http://wordle.net)

A Writer's Day in Ocean City, Maryland

2009-07-30T11:43:00.040-04:00

So far all of my research for Mirror of Souls, which takes place in 1526 France, has been done through reading. But once I have a real contract for a book (any book!) with real money, I desperately want to go to France for some serious on-site research.

In the meantime, I'm also working on a middle-grade (ages 9-12) time travel novel, tentatively titled Rescued in Time, which takes place in 1902 Ocean City, Maryland. The main characters are 12-year-old cousins Peter and Caroline. Peter is technology-dependent, and isn't enjoying his beach vacation. Athlete Caroline lives in Ocean City, and has romanticized its past. They're both in for an abrupt reality check when they land (literally) in 1902.

I can drive to Ocean City in about 3 hours, and there are plenty of resources available about its early years. So earlier this week we took a day trip "downy ocean, Hon," and had an awesome time researching and playing!

First stop was a "Flashback" photo studio, where Amy graciously posed for a picture in an old-timey bathing suit. This was not her idea of a good time, but she did it for my sake. :) I'm sure the suit isn't vintage 1902, but the picture will be great inspiration for me as I write anyway.

Next, (purely in the name of research!) we did a taste-testing of the three major brands of Ocean City salt water taffy. The verdict? Fischer's tastes the best, Dolle's was a close runner up, and Candy Kitchen, which tastes like wax, was way, way, last. Fischer's was softer and stickier than Dolle's, which held up better in the heat. Dolle's won the contest in the long run, with extra points for labeling their flavors. No wondering whether the yellow was lemon or banana (yecch!)

The kids were ready for the beach, so David and I walked down to get a few pics before we headed off to the Museum. Awesome big brother Doug said he was dedicating his day to making sure Amy had fun! And Carrie and her best friend Em had a blast, too.

The Ocean City Life Saving Museum is a treasure. We met the assistant curator, appropriately named Sandy, who said she'd be happy to answer my questions via e-mail. I'll be sending her lots! I bought the book City on the Sand by Mary Corddry, which Sandy often uses as a resource.

I was most impressed by the exhibit of early life-saving equipment, such as the Lyle gun. If a ship was wrecked off the coast, the life saving service guys would literally shoot a rope out to it. Attached to the end of the rope was a board with instruction to the crew, in English and French, about how to secure it to the mast. Then the guys on shore would ferry the sailors back using a Breeches Buoy (think zip line!). More museum pics!

The exhibit on the early years of the boardwalk was also fascinating. I learned, for instance, that while the new carousel was being installed at Trimper's Amusements in 1902, the installer was called back to the factory on an emergency...so the 12-year-old son of Mr. Trimper finished putting it together!

Oh, yes, there was lots of grist for the imagination mill in that museum!

Of course, we had to check out the carousel, which is still in operation after 107 years. I tried to get pictures of most of the animals...which went far beyond the typical horses to a dragon, several fanciful pigs, a frog, a tiger, a bunch of cats and dogs, an emu, a crane, a camel... and my personal favorite, the reindeer! Amy and I took a ride later, again, purely in the name of research. More carousel pics!

Games, rides, and the obligatory late lunch/early dinner at Dough Roller finished out the day. Doug and Em braved the sling shot. When I called Em's mom, Marti, to tell her that her daughter was flying into the air, Marti told me to tell Em that if she lived she was going to kill her! :) The girls traded their game tickets in for prizes, turning themselves into "The Three Princesses of the Boardwalk." (Wondering about the oddly normal color of Carrie's hair? I was stunned when she actually dyed it BROWN! Turns out she had been told to dye it before her Peabody Children's Chorus trip to London earlier this month. Apparently teal hair isn't part of the Peabody image!) Lots more OC pics!

It started raining just as we were leaving, and stormed so heavily on the way home that David wasn't sure we'd crossed the Bay Bridge until we were already over it!

Mirror of MY Soul

2009-07-21T11:34:00.006-04:00

What I'm writing: I'm continuing research for the sequel to Spinning Coins, Mirror of Souls. Spinning Coins took place in an imaginary village in 1526 Denmark, so I was able to create the location, buildings, geography etc. to fit the needs of my story. Mirror of Souls, however, takes place in France, in real places that still exist today. I've spent far too much time on the internet trying to find out if the Cathédrale St-Jean in Lyon, France still has a side chapel with statues of sleeping soldiers. And better yet, if there are any cathedrals with sleeping soldiers closer to the main action of my book (between Paris and Orléans). I went to a very educational break-out session at the regional SCBWI (Society for Children's Book Writers and Illustrators) conference in Westminster, MD this weekend where author/illustrator Lita Judge suggested contacting local archivists to ask questions. Oddly, this never occurred to me. I'll try contacting the cathedral directly. What I'd really love to do is go to France myself, but with two kids in college that's not happening -- at least until I sell the first book. :)

I've also been musing about a middle-grade time travel series to take place in Ocean City, Maryland in 1902, when the hotel owners got together to create the first boardwalk, which they would roll up at night or high tide and store on their porches.
The boardwalk was destroyed by a hurricane in 1903. The advantage of a story taking place in Ocean City is that I can drive there in less than four hours, and they even have a historical museum right on the boardwalk. And by having it take place in the near past I should be able to find photographs, newspaper articles, etc. to do more direct research. Amy is excited about this one, because the main character would be about eleven and she can give me input and ideas.

What I'm reading: The SCBWI conference had a book table filled with volumes by the conference speakers. On Saturday I picked up Siobhan Vivian's Same Difference, read the jacket flap, and recognized my daughter Carrie in her main character Emily. I immediately bought it, got it autographed for Carrie by Siobhan, and took it home. When I left for the conference Sunday morning, Carrie was already well in to the book. She loved it. I read it last night, staying up until 3AM to finish it. Wow! Siobhan has her teen voice spot on. In fact one dialogue passage between Emily and her mom could have been overheard in my house.

What I'm knitting: I'm taking a short break from Doug's afghan to knit a garter stitch elephant for Amy. She found the perfect yarn to match her new pre-teen-green room color at Large Marge's Yarn Shop, and picked out a pattern on Ravelry. In the meantime, Carrie has started another hat, and Amy is inspired to pick up knitting again herself. Time for a review lesson for my 9-year-old.

How I'm feeling: The migraine diet is still going well. I was actually migraine-free on Saturday for the first day of the conference, and thanks to an Imitrex shot made it through Sunday too. I slept most of the day Monday, but I'm up and around today with a manageable migraine and no meds.

Mirror of Souls

2009-07-17T13:51:00.008-04:00

Spinning Coins 2 now has a working title...Introducing, Mirror of Souls! The title comes from the Marguerite de Navarre poem 'Le Miroir de L'âme Pécheresse', 'The Mirror (or Glass) of the Sinful Soul'. Marguerite wrote this poem after the death of her infant son in 1530. It was later translated into English by Elizabeth I, then age 11, as a gift for her step-mother Katherine Parr (KP). Katherine was the last wife of Henry VIII. Coincidentally, at one point Marguerite herself was in consideration for marriage to Henry VIII, but outright refused!

I have the setting for the sequel: 1526-1527 France, in the months after the end of Spinning Coins .

I have some plot points, including elements from Molière's play, ' The School for Wives ', and Marguerite de Navarre's The Heptameron . I'm working on knitting these into a cohesive outline and a story that will resonate with 21st century young adult readers.

I have the cast.

My time traveling teens:

Polly is desperately searching for something (or someone!) she's lost
Will is brimming with ideas and plans
Joy is still reeling, not sure where and when she belongs, but trying to cope in her own way

Characters from 'The School for Wives':

Arnolphe, who thinks he's creating the perfect woman
Agnes (ah-NYESS), an innocent experiencing her first love
Horace, the man who adores her

Real-life historical figures (The first three were all students at the University of Paris in late 1526. I have no idea if they ever met, but I'm looking forward to writing about an imaginary encounter!)

Jean Cauvin, aka John Calvin, 17 years old and studying law, but later to be a major leader of the Protestant Reformation and poster-boy for the doctrine of predestination
Francis Xavier, a 2o-year-old philosophy student, but destined to become a missionary to Japan, one of the founders of the Jesuits, and a Catholic Saint.
François Rabelais, a 30-something medical student , a humanist (perhaps Christian, perhaps atheist, depending on who you believe), and writer of satire and bawdy songs. ( Calvin wrote in 1533 that Rabelais' book, Pantagruel, was "obscene."
And Marguerite de Navarre, sister of King François of France, early feminist, theologian and writer. In late 1526/early 1527 she was newly-betrothed to King Henri of Navarre (a small country near the border of Spain, now part of France). She traveled from Paris south to visit Henri's sister in her convent. In Mirror of Souls, Polly and her companions will travel with Marguerite.

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Spinning Coins sequel needs a title!

2009-07-16T20:07:00.025-04:00

The title for Spinning Coins was obvious. After all, Polly, Joy and Will spin a magic coin to travel in time, place, and reality. Their friends Rosencrantz and Guildenstern play a game of heads and tails they call "spinning coins." And readers who delve beneath the surface of the novel may find themselves exploring deeper issues of predestination, free will, and chance.

Now I need a title for the sequel. Yes, I know many books don't have titles until much later in the process, but this feels like a loose end to me, and it's distracting me from more important things. Like writing!

I'd l ike Book 2's name to be related to Spinning Coins , but what? Spinning ... Wheels? (They are traveling.) Spinning Rings? (My son wants me to have them melt down the coin and make three rings, one for each teen. Sorry Doug/Will; not going to happen.) Traveling Coins? Nah. Changing Coins? No. Ah, well. Must write plot. Title will come.

2009-07-12T02:46:00.001-04:00

What's going on with Barb?

2009-06-26T07:40:00.007-04:00

What I'm reading: Pythagoras' Trousers: God, Physics and the Gender Wars by Margaret Wertheim. Margaret Wertheim is the science writer who, with her twin sister, began the "Beautiful math of coral and crochet" project. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGEDHMF4rLI Pythagoras' Trousers attempts, in 250 pages, to give a history of the link between physics and religion over the last 1000 years.

What I'm writing: I just sent Spinning Coins to its first potential agent. This particular agent (Adams Literary) takes e-mail submissions of the entire manuscript, and tries to give a 3-4 month turnaround on responses, which is faster than other agents. They are Margaret Peterson Haddix' agent. Amy and I just finished reading her Just Ella and its sequel, Palace of Mirrors, which have put Amy into a "feminist princess" kick :) . She also wrote Running Out of Time and The Shadow Children books, which Doug and Carrie loved when they were younger.

I'm doing research for a sequel to Spinning Coins. In the sequel Polly will be in Paris at the University, where in actual history John Calvin and Saint Francis Xavier were students at the time (late 1526, early 1527.) She'll meet Marguerite de Navarre, and travel with her through France.

What I'm knitting: I'm still working on Doug's college afghan. I've finished the front face of the Fibonacci cube, and started on the side. (It will look 3D because of the various shades of gray mixed in with the red and yellow.) I've also done one of the Terp (turtle) corners, and started on knitting a tone-on-tone MARYLAND to go across the bottom.

How I'm feeling: The Hopkins cardiologist I met with last month does not recommend doing a PFO closure in my case. He doesn't think it will help. He did recommend the book Heal Your Headache: The 1-2-3 Plan For Taking Charge of Your Pain, by neurologist David Buchholz. Buchholz recommends eliminating ALL potential migraine triggers. He says that just because chocolate, for instance, doesn't always seem to give you a migraine doesn't mean it isn't a trigger for you. Every person has a point at which the ACCUMULATION of triggers will cause a migraine, and it could be that one day chocolate puts you over the limit and another day it doesn't. Apparently my trigger point is very low, since I have migraines daily.

In the last month I've been following his diet (no caffeine, no artificial sweeteners, no nuts, no aged cheese...the list goes on), and have also gone off rescue meds such as Imitrex and Excedrin Migraine in an attempt to eliminate rebound headaches. (I did use Imitrex shots for 3 days during the family reunion; otherwise I wouldn't have been able to participate.) The result? I still have the daily migraines, but generally less severe and with some time migraine FREE (not even the edge of a migraine, as before.) I also feel more clear-headed. I'm going to stick with this, in the hopes that I continue to improve.

What else is going on?
- We just celebrated my grandparents' 75th anniversary! My mom threw a wonderful party with about 60 guests.
- Doug graduated from high school, and is excited about going to Maryland in the fall. He's lifeguarding this summer, and just took a pool operators class.
- Carrie just turned 16. To celebrate her SWEET 16, Doug (almost 18) took her to Hershey Park. (Get it? Sweet?) She leaves for London with Peabody Children's Chorus on July 3rd.
- 9yo Amy auditioned for the Peabody Children's Chorus, and was placed in the Choristers (the 2nd level). I'm VERY proud! She's keeping busy with swim team this summer.

The "thing" in my head (UPDATED!), why there are pics of me, and PFOs

2009-05-18T12:56:00.005-04:00

I'm going to the University of Maryland Medical Center this afternoon so that the doctor can tell me that the "thing"in my head hasn't changed and I can go on with my life. (Update! I'm back; not only is "the thing" stable, but it's been stable long enough that the doctor says I don't need to come back!) This is quite a difference from three years ago, when he was calling it a tumor and telling me it needed to come out -- in a risky surgery, because of its proximity to my optic nerve and my carotid artery. He was talked out of surgery by another doctor, who convinced him that it was most likely benign, had most likely been there since I was in the womb, and didn't need to be removed unless it showed signs of changing. Which it hasn't, of course.

I'm thinking back on that time three years ago, and how,

even though nothing really changed, everything did. I honestly thought I could die. I mean, I had a TUMOR in my head, and the surgery to remove it was RISKY. We went to the Outer Banks of North Carolina for a few days that Spring Break,

and it was then that I decided that I would no longer avoid having my picture taken. Yes, I am overweight, no longer young, no longer attractive. Yes, I'd rather hide from the camera (and to be honest, I still position Amy in front of me whenever possible!) But I realized that if something happened to me, my family would rather have pictures of the physically imperfect me than no pictures at all.

Next week I see the cardiologist about the PFO (NON-life-threatening hole in my heart, which could be causing/contributing to my migraines. The PFO can be fixed with outpatient surgery.) And I'll be seeing the pain management doc soon, too, to get facet-joint

injections in my neck.

The Five Randoms' Hook Contest

2009-05-15T20:40:00.015-04:00

I'm thrilled to be one of six finalists in The Five Randoms' hook contest. A hook is a very short summary of a book, intended to "hook" the interest of an agent. The finalists are submitting the first pages of our books, and the winner will have her first chapter critiqued by agent Wendy Schmalz. This is an incredible opportunity, and the competition is tough!

Here are the finalists' hooks. I can't wait to read ALL of these books!

1. The Book of Esther by Stephanie Boman

http://sboman.livejournal.com/

FIRST PAGE: http://thefiverandoms.livejournal.com/6251.html

The Book of Esther: A Faerie Tale is an urban fantasy retelling of the biblical story of the same name – but the persecuted race in this version is Fae.

As a seventeen-year-old Faerie, Essie Hadassah's greatest desire is to blend in, lead a normal life and distance herself from her freaky Fae heritage. She is part of a new generation of disillusioned Faeries no longer interested in being nature’s caretakers (an unfortunate fact contributing to the earth’s climate change). Reluctantly competing to be the Mortal king's fiancee to please her cousin Cai who is raising her, Essie learns that the lives of the Faefolk are endangered.

Essie may be in a position to help them, but how does a girl who’s always shunned her birthright suddenly defend it?

Can Essie prevent her people from being changed into Vacants by soul-sucking Demons, ward off the earth’s environmental crisis and save herself from an impossible romance, all while coming to terms with her cultural identity?

2. Weaver by Myra McEntire

http://writingfinally.blogspot.com/

FIRST PAGE IS UP! http://thefiverandoms.livejournal.com/6107.html

Emerson Cole has flushed her meds. Four years ago her parents died in a car accident and that’s when she started seeing things...swooning Southern belles, 1920’s jazz trios, Native Americans in loincloths. Medication kept her visions at bay for a while, but the side effects left her a complete zombie. Now that her "happy" pills have gone the way of the porcelain pipeline, Em’s personality is back. So are the dead - but this time one of them knows things about her - and he just happens to live in her bedroom.

3. Crime Sketcher Case Files by Elissa Cruz

http://elissadcruz.livejournal.com/

Eleven-year-old Matthew Howell knows three things about solving mysteries:

1) Keep your eyes open.

2) Ask lots of questions.

3) Draw fast.

People don’t always appreciate his lightning-quick pen or his talent for drawing, though. Like Derek, for example, who is so tall and stiff when he plays baseball that Matt can't help but sketch him as a tree, or the crusty old custodian who makes the perfect model for a skeleton drawing, complete with overalls and a chain of keys. But when Matt's best friend, Joey, has his set of ultra-collectible action figures stolen right out of the classroom and the adults at Washington Elementary don't seem interested in tracking down the thief, Matt knows he may be the only one who can solve the crime. He sets out to help his friend and prove his artistic talent is good for something other than making enemies or earning him a permanent seat in detention.

4. Demon in Residence by Angela DeGroot

http://angeladegroot.livejournal.com/

Lonely thirteen year-old Melanie is afraid. She’s afraid of the bullies at school, the ill-tempered homeless man down the road, and that her dad won’t return from his cross-country road trip to “find himself.” To make matters worse, Melanie’s fears of things both real and imaginary have aroused the attention of a fear demon who wants to literally scare her to death and consume her soul. The demon lures Melanie into his domain, plucks fears from inside her head and conjures images that transform into deadly reality before her eyes. Melanie must find the courage to believe in herself or she will die alone in the dark like she's always feared.

5. Wolfsbane at Midnight by Joan Stranding

http://authorwithin.blogspot.com/

Scarlet's red hooded cloak is supposed to protect her from the dangers of the forest as she gathers herbs for her grandmother's potions, but when she meets the woodcutter's seventeen-year-old son, Oren, the cloak fails to protect her from the powerful attraction between them.

Days before her sixteenth birthday, the Witching Ball grants Scarlet powers to see people's past, present, and future. Only then does she discover how dangerous Oren really is.

Now Scarlet must decide whether to help Oren find a cure for the curse placed on him by her ancestors or seek revenge for her grandmother's death. WOLFSBANE AT MIDNIGHT is my 50,000-word version of a classic fairytale in which "Little Red Riding Hood" unwittingly falls in love with the werewolf who killed her grandmother.

6. Spinning Coins by Barbara Quarrier Dell

SPINNING COINS is a YA time travel fantasy with a Shakespearean twist.

POLLY, an atheist, and JOY, an uber-sweet conservative Christian, have nothing in common, until a magic coin transports them to an alternate-reality 1526 Denmark. Despite their opposing world views, the girls must work together to find a way home -- or accept that this is their new reality. Just when it seems possible that there may be a chance at the future after all, a couple of sixteenth century guys make the girls question if they even want to go home. And an evil priest and a mob of rabble-rousing Lutherans might make it impossible.

Major progress on Spinning Coins!

2009-05-07T10:27:00.003-04:00

Woo hoo! I finished writing Spinning Coins on Sunday, and mailed it to a professional editor, Kathryn Johnson, on Monday. She read it Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, and sent back a very detailed report on ways I can improve it. Most of the changes she recommended will be easy to implement (making things clear to the reader that are obvious to me!), but she's also recommended a major restructuring.

I originally started the book in first person, but alternating between three POV characters (Polly, Joy, and Polly's brother Will.) Early readers suggested that this was too confusing, so I rewrote it in third person -- but still alternating between the three main characters. Kathryn, the editor, suggests that this is STILL too confusing. AND, she really thinks first person comes across better. So now I'm going to switch it back to first person, and use Polly to observe Joy's POV. This way I'll have two POVs instead of three. I really can't think of a way to eliminate Will as a POV character since his plotline is totally separate from Polly and Joy's plotline.

In any case, it's back to the - er - writing board. I'm excited about going back to first person! I liked it better that way, too.

Also, I entered The Five Randoms' "hook" contest this week. The prize is that literary agent Wendy Schmalz (Lois Lowry's agent) will critique the first chapter. I got an e-mail this morning that my hook (very short synopsis) was accepted into the contest, and will be posted next week. I would be thrilled to get a chance to work with Wendy Schmalz, so here's hoping!

I've been listening to a lot of Danish rock/metal/alternative music the last few days, trying to find a musician or band for Polly to follow. My daughter Carrie helped me pick Band Ane, a solo musician playing the "laptronica." The music is described as "electronica." I think Doug/Will would like it, too! Here's a video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAhmVus62S4

University of Maryland Afghan

2009-04-22T21:47:00.012-04:00

I've been making slow progress on Doug's afghan. It's based on a fibonacci sequence, and in UMCP colors -- appropriate for my soon-to-be-Terp geek son!

For those of you, like me, who are math impaired: 4+4=8, 4+8=12, 8+12=20, 12+20=32, and 20+32=52. If you were to count the number of garter stitch ridges from top to bottom, and stitches from right to left, you'd see that the afghan makes a fibonacci cube. The 3D effect is created by using white yarn for the front face of the cube, light gray for the bottom face, and dark gray for the left face.

Doug made his commitment to MD this week. We toured the campus last week (impressive!) and stocked up on spirit wear! Carrie is happy that she'll be able to drive down and have dinner with him occasionally, and if he comes home to do laundry he can take Amy out for breakfast. We're all glad he'll be close to home!

The afghan pattern came from Woolly Thoughts, which has tons of math-based knitting patterns. Here's Fibo-Optic: http://www.woollythoughts.com/afghans/optic.html

Three parables

2009-04-08T22:52:00.004-04:00

Comments welcome.

Parable 1.

A mother gave birth to twins, Harold and Howard. She decided that she loved Harold and hated Howard.

To Harold she gave everything that he needed for a happy, healthy, well adjusted life: good food, affection, an education, praise when he did well, encouragement to do better when he needed it.

Howard, on the other hand, was put in a cage in the basement. He was only given enough food to survive. She whipped him regularly, verbally abused him, and made sure that the temperature in his prison was always either burning hot or freezing cold. In other words, she made his life a living hell.

Was she a loving mother? Did she deserve the love and praise that Harold gave her? Did she deserve the "mother of the year" award from her town? After all, she did a WONDERFUL job with one son.

Parable 2.

One hundred people were on a boat that exploded and capsized. They ended up in the water, swimming amongst burning debris. There was nothing to hang on to, and shore was miles away. Suddenly a boat appeared. It was obviously huge. The captain called out, "I am a loving man, so I have come to your rescue. I have room on my boat for 1000 people. But I choose to rescue only 5. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy. I pick you, and you, and you, and you, and you. The rest of you are on your own."

Could the same Jesus who said, "Let the little children come to me", really send little children who haven't heard the gospel (and haven't been given a choice) to ETERNAL punishment?

Parable #3 (or, "I'm just not getting this Romans 9
stuff...and believe me, I'm not taking it lightly")

Susie and Sally were identical twins who did everything together. They loved each other dearly and were virtually inseperable. When one did a good deed, the other was right with her. When one got in trouble, the other was there, too. One day Susie and Sally were sitting in their living room flipping through the TV channels, when a TV evangelist came on the screen. Something he said touched Susie's heart, and she was "saved" then and there. Seconds later, an earthquake struck, and Susie and Sally were both killed instantly. As they sat before the judgment seat, the Judge said, "Susie, you're saved. You're headed for an eternity of joy. Sally, sorry to say, you're not among the elect. Off to eternal punishment for you."

As Susie headed off with the rest of the eternally blissful, she called over her shoulder, "Goodbye, Sally. Now I see that the entire purpose of your existence was to show me the riches of his glory."

"God laid it on my heart"? "A personal relationship with Jesus"?

2009-04-02T13:27:00.007-04:00

I'm looking for thoughts (positive and negative) about the concept of a "personal relationship with Jesus/God."

If you've experienced this, what does it "look" like? Feel like? What takes place in this relationship? How did it come about?

Do you say things like,

"The Lord laid it on my heart to...", or
"God impressed on me that...", or
"God has convicted me about...", or
"The Lord spoke to me and said..."?

How did that happen? How did you know it was God speaking to you? What was the topic? What did you learn? Were you looking for/praying for guidance on that issue?

Have you ever met anyone who felt led/convicted in a different direction? How did you (or did you) reconcile that with how you personally were led?

Feel free to make a comment here, or e-mail me at bqdell@gmail.com. And send your friends!

Oh, and this is for my personal edification, not for any kind of story research. If I ever do decide to do anything with any of these comments I'll be sure to contact you before I quote you.

Manhattan Memories

2009-03-16T14:58:00.009-04:00

Saturday was my sister-in-law Dana’s 30th birthday, and to celebrate some of our extended family took her to Manhattan for the weekend. We had an amazing time, thanks to a little planning, some great company, and in my case, heavy doses of Imitrex, Reglan, and Ben Gay. (I hate to think what the amount of Imitrex I took this weekend did to my body, but I was bound and determined to enjoy the time and I certainly don’t do this on a regular basis!)

John and Dana live near Atlantic City, about 3.5 hours away from us and 2.5 from NYC. We drove up there Friday night, and enjoyed a marvelous Dana-made meal of Coque-Au-Vin. Dana is such a great cook, and thankfully she enjoys doing it for us. My parents came too, and my cousin Elizabeth flew in from Ohio for the weekend, so we had 10 people altogether.

Saturday morning we drove to the Weehawken Ferry in New Jersey, and took the ferry to 39th Street in Manhattan. From there we took the free shuttle to 57th Street, near Central Park. We walked (LONG walk) up to 72nd Street and then cut across the park to Strawberry Fields, the John Lennon memorial.

We also saw the Dakota, which is the apartment building John Lennon lived in and where he was shot. It’s also the building in the time travel novel Time and Again, by Jack Finney. The main character in the book rents an apartment in the Dakota and hypnotizes himself back to the 19th century.

We had a great lunch at Dallas Barbecue, an ironic choice for a day in Manhattan.
The restaurant was decorated with murals of horses, eagles, etc. The food was great, cheap, and plentiful, so everyone was happy. They brought a unique dessert for Dana’s birthday: a piece of cornbread smothered in whipped cream and decorated with a cherry, jelly beans, and drizzles of strawberry syrup.

Then we took the subway to 50th Street, and walked to Rockefeller Center. The NBC Studio Tour was sold out for the day, but we shopped in their store. After that we split up. Doug and Carrie went to Nintendo World in Rock Center, David, Amy, Elizabeth and I went to FAO Schwarz, NYC World of Disney, and American Girl, and John, Dana, Mom and Dad rested and did other stuff. (Not sure what. :)

We all met up at the Empire State Building. David and the kids and I went up to the 82nd Floor Observation level, and the rest of the group waited for us on ground level. It took an hour to get through all the lines, but the view was definitely worth it. It was starting to get dark while we were up there, and it was delightful watching the lights of the city begin to come on.

We walked from there back to the ferry (another LONG walk), sore and tired, but happy.

We stayed in a hotel on the New Jersey side. Sunday morning we split up again. Mom and Dad headed for home. John, Dana and Elizabeth met up with some of Elizabeth’s friends who live on Long Island. David and the kids and I took the ferry to Ellis Island, where we spent a fascinating hour, and then on to the Statue of Liberty where we climbed (huff, puff) to the observation platform and took tons of pictures.

My laptop sleeve is done! (Plus thoughts on depression)

2009-03-12T23:09:00.010-04:00

My felted laptop sleeve is done!

In good news, I finished my felted laptop sleeve. In case you can't tell, the embroidery is my initials, surrounded by two spirals.

And some thoughts on depression...

I foolishly let my Cymbalta (anti-depressant) prescription run out this week, and it turned out I was out of refills. In the time it took the pharmacy and the doctor to connect and get it straightened out I started feeling some very uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms. I was extremely nauseated, very jittery/dizzy, and felt like breaking down in sobs for no reason what so ever. (And I have no more reason to be depressed this week than last week.) The worst thing, though, was the horrific nightmares I had all night last night. I kept thinking I was waking up -- but no, I was still trapped in the nightmare. Thankfully I was somehow able to talk out loud in real life, waking my husband so that he could wake me. Several times. But every time I went back to sleep, I went back into the nightmare to be trapped again.

And my thoughts? Depression is, for me at least, somewhat situational. I mean, who wouldn't be depressed about daily migraines and the loss of a normal life? But there is certainly a chemical element as well. Of course this is obvious, but it sure came home again to me today. The chemicals in my brain and the logic in my brain ("Hey, there's no reason for this to be happening") had a vast disconnect, and the only thing that fixed it was -- Cymbalta. Thank goodness the pharmacy had my refill this evening, and I was able to get it back in my system. As I write this I'm still kind of dizzy, but the sobbing can wait for something that really warrants it. Like a sad commercial on TV.

A plate, felted knitting, ONSTIM/migraines, and profanity in YA lit (yeah, for a person who sleeps all the time, I've got a lot going on in my head.)

2009-03-05T21:32:00.018-05:00

I took 9-year-old Amy and her friend to the paint-your-own pottery place last week, and made this masterpiece. I borrowed the saying from an expensive mirror I saw at a store. (Does that count as plagiarism? I hope not.) I painted splotches of rainbow colors on the plate, covered them in a coat of blue, and then scratched the design in the wet blue paint. It looks like I should have added another layer of blue, but I'm not sure if the scratching technique would have worked through a dry layer of paint. I guess it looks cool enough as-is, though. And I do love that saying, and send thanks through the ether to whoever came up with it.

I've also started knitting my felted laptop sleeve. It took me two tries to get my practice swatches to felt (by washing the knitted wool in hot water.) My 6"x6" square

shrunk to 5"x5", which means I have to knit the sleeve that percentage bigger than the laptop and then hope for the best. Pictured are my felted swatches, and the bottom of the laptop sleeve, with the front and back spread out a bit and the left and right edges starting to build.

Other than that, I've been getting a lot of sleep. I've had a bad migraine this week, thanks to letting my rechargeable ONSTIM battery die as sort of an experiment. It proved to me that yes, my ONSTIM IS doing its job. My migraines have been less severe lately, even though they I still have them every day. Even though I only left the ONSTIM off for a few hours, it's taking me days to recover. I won't try that stupidity again. Thank you, Medtronic, for your wonderful device.

Work on Spinning Coins is slow (not enough brain cells to be creative lately), but I have started some preliminary research on the Reformation in France for a sequel. Oh, and I renamed a fairly major character in Book 1 with a name I found while doing the research for Book 2. It's going to be an adjustment for me, because I know and love him as Oscar, but Oscar is now Josse.

My biggest struggle at this point is over the use of profanity in Book 1. Polly, my atheist character, most certainly does use the occasional four-letter word. So far I've limited her to what you could hear on network TV. But there's situation in the story where even I, a staunch non-swearer, might be tempted to use a much stronger epithet. A "weaker" word doesn't get the emotion across in the same way. I don't want to alienate or offend any potential audience, though, and I've been assured that using this word would do just that. Comments on this issue are most welcome.

This is not really a post about knitting

2009-02-18T06:44:00.006-05:00

I recently knitted a scarf out of a beautiful cotton yarn. I knew that stockinette-stitch scarves roll inward, but I hoped that a garter-stitch border would control it. No such luck. I kept knitting, figuring I could block the scarf once it was done, and force it flat. That didn't work either. It is truly in the nature of stockinette to roll. And if I, as the creator of the scarf, wanted a non-rolling scarf, I should have chosen a different stitch. I can't hold the scarf, or the yarn, or the stitch responsible for something that I chose to do. At this point I can decide to accept the scarf as it is, or unravel it and redeem the yarn by making something new. I could always burn it, but why punish the yarn for something the knitter chose to do?

On Journaling, Crying, and Being Pathetic :)

2009-02-13T15:07:00.004-05:00

My mom and I went to a class last night on the power of journaling. The instructor led us through a series of five-minute exercises meant to demonstrate journaling as a method of "gaining new perspectives on problems and blocks, setting goals and monitoring progress, solving problems, and reducing stress."

The exercises were not designed to make us cry. Of course, being the pathetic basket case that I am, I started sobbing during the very first assignment. Yes, right there in class in front of the instructor, my mother, and the other journalers. I wasn't even talking. Just writing.

The specific assignment was to write about "Where I am Right Now." Here, for your reading and sobbing pleasure, is what I wrote:

My children are leaving me. My son is going away to college next year; my daughter has her emotional foot out the door and traveling the world with a backpack. My little one isn't so little, and doesn't physically need me as much, although she's emotionally clingy.

It depresses me that a stage in my life is passing so quickly. When I stopped homeschooling full time, one of the hardest parts was losing my identity as a "homeschool mom." I got over it. "Public school mom" was just as good. Not having all my kids living at home, though, nearly makes me want to cry. OK, it does make me cry, and I still have months with all of them and years with at least one.

And those years are passing in a blur of migraines and meds and missed events. This is not the childhood I envisioned for my kids.

Who Am I?

2009-02-12T14:41:00.013-05:00

Who am I? I'm a wife and mom, daughter and granddaughter, sister and aunt. I'm a writer and a reader, and a knitter. I'm also a migraineur - a chronic migraine sufferer. And it's my migraineurship (I guess I made that word up) which, for ill or good, is defining my life these days. But I don't want my identity to be solely, "Migraine Sufferer."

I started knitting as a way of making myself be productive instead of just laying around feeling sorry for myself. I could (can) no longer work as a computer scientist. I often can't think straight at all, between the pain and the meds. But I don't have to think straight to knit. I just have to knit. Purl. Knit. Purl. And I have to say I've made some beautiful things in this year of pain.

Same with the writing. I can't drive myself to work, spend eight hours at a job which requires logic and attention, and then drive myself home - but I can spend a few hours here and a few hours there writing. At home, on my laptop, when I have a few blessed lucid hours straight. It's taking a long time (over a year already) but my YA alternate-reality time-travel novel, Spinning Coins, is almost done. I can go weeks or even months at a time without adding a chapter, but it's always there waiting for me. Unlike my computer science job, where, oddly, they needed me there regularly.

I do have hopes of ending this seemingly-endless migraine abyss. I already have an ONSTIM (Occipital Nerve Stimulation for the Treatment of Intractable Migraines) which gives me what lucid hours I have. The ONSTIM is basically electrodes in my head which interrupt the pain signals between my occipital nerve and my brain. (The rechargeable battery pack is in my left buttock; my nine-year-old is amused when I "can't get a signal out of my butt" to recharge it.)

And soon I'll be having surgery to fix my PFO (Patent Foramen Ovale), a tiny hole between the top two chambers of my heart. PFOs have recently been linked to chronic migraines, since unfiltered blood can pass to the brain.

In the meantime, I continue to try every migraine med known to man, and may go for Botox injections for other nerves soon, too.

Journaling as a Legacy

2009-02-11T11:29:00.004-05:00

This morning I've been sitting at my mom's dining room table with my Grandma Hess. She's been watching the birds, and I've been knitting. Grandpa is reading in his recliner. It's been a peaceful morning.

Grandma is 94, and has kept diaries since she was a teenager. I asked her if she's still doing it, and she said, "No, but I should."

I should, too. Grandma has provided a legacy to us in her words. We can look back and find out snippets of her life (nothing profound in Grandma's diaries), glimpses of who she was and who she is and where we come from. I'd love to know more about the other women (and men) who came before me, and I'd love to leave a legacy for those who come after me, even though to me my days seem routine and relatively uninteresting.